Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Torque & Tool


"1. Mechanics. something that produces or tends to produce torsion or rotation; the moment of a force or system of forces tending to cause rotation. 2. Machinery . the measured ability of a rotating element, as of a gear or shaft, to overcome turning resistance." (Random House via 

Torque helps a girl be a grrrrl when muscling the trucks. 

Wanna look tough? Single handedly woman-handle the landing gear of a 48 foot trailer, setting it down so that it takes the burden off the truck so you can pull out from under the trailer, or lifting it so the trailer can come to rest on the truck's rear axles. How's it done? Long poles. Long poles are the key. Short poles won't do. Size matters. Length, if not girth.

The longer the rotating handle that rotates the gears that lift and lower the landing gear, the easier it is. Try this. Use a 1 inch bottle opener on your Sam Adams. Then use a 3 inch bottle opener. ... See what I mean?

I love torque. 

Which is why the academic in me does not understand the 'verb' torqued, commonly used to mean, "Angry, mad, upset. [As in,] I have to stay after school, I am so torqued!" ( 

The same goes for "tool." ... Shouldn't a tool be a good thing? So why was I calling the rat-b*stards who were doing lunatic car ballets around my rig today 'tools'? ... I mean, it was Martha Graham choreography, but without any dance training. and in a 4,000 pound tutu. Sounds heavy, but FYI, my tutu weighs a good 30,000+ pounds. 

As my Sweet Babboo says, "Let's play a game. It's called, Who ends up fired and who ends up dead? I bet I can find a new job faster than you can come back to life."

But to return to torque. Torque is a trucker grrrl's best friend. 6 inches on a wrench or landing gear bar can make all the difference. Love your torque. Stroke your tools and thank them for their usefulness. Wrap your hands around the girth and give thanks for the length. Then, raise that trailer high.

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